You Think You’re a Real Woman? Not Even…

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**We now send you back to your regularly scheduled program**

I thought that would catch your attention.

No seriously, Proverbs 31:10-31 gives an outline of what a real woman should be like: patient, kind, loving, good with her hands, loyal to her husband, respected by her children, praised and revered by those around her. She is, essentially, everything we know that real men want and everything a real woman wants to be.

But… (There’s always a “but”, isn’t it?)

What good is it to aspire to be the aforementioned if we are missing key pieces to the puzzle? Can we even be a Proverbs 31 if any of the key pieces are not there?

Luke 15:8 explores a woman who has lost a silver coin, and Jesus, in His most clever way, asked what a woman in her position (losing a valuable thing) should and would do.

...Suppose a woman has ten valuable silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and look in every corner of the house and sweep every nook and cranny until she finds it? (New Living Translation)

A woman’s strength, courage, abilities, talent, personality, who she is at her core can be “lost” through past experiences; those things that have caused us heartache and pain, through abuse, neglect, rape, an absent parent, abandonment, numerous relationships with different men, anything can cause us to lose a “piece” of our self. We know that parts of us are scattered all over the place; back in our hometown, in the bed of an ex lover, in your broken pieces of a nasty divorce. If we fail to go back and search for those lost pieces, how can we then be whole enough to ever be the Proverbs 31 woman?

For years I went through life, sweeping issue after issue, heartache after heartache under a rug as I continued on year after year professing that I am “whole and nothing missing,” ready to receive all that was in store for my life. I continued on with this façade of being steadfast, whole, and ready to conquer the world. I knew the Word, went to church on the regular, confessed that I was the “head and not the tail” and that I was “virtuous”, a “ruby”, and all of the auto-pilot responses we give. I sought after those things that I thought to be important: that God fearing man, a new car and home, my career; I wanted it all! But within the confines of my apartment, I was slowly falling apart. The more I chased after those desires, the more I realized that there were key pieces to me that was missing. No matter how much I wanted to be and have those things that were “important” to me, I could never fully receive any of it because so many key components were not evident in my life.

There’s come a time where we no longer can continue to aspire to be things that we aren’t prepared to be. Until we find that lost “silver coin”, until we take the time to recoup and heal those dark “corners” of our lives can we ever begin to be a Proverbs 31 woman. God has the expectation for us to pursue after those things that matter most. He expects for us to continue on the chase of Him and everything like Him, for it is not until we find those missing pieces that we can truly be in a place of peace and happiness.

…And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors to rejoice with her because she has found her lost coin. (New Living Translation)

So what pieces of your life are missing? What precious metals and jewels that make you distinctly you have you lost in your “home”? Stay tuned—we’ll explore some of these pieces in later weeks, but in the meanwhile, post your comments below or shoot me an email at if you want any specific topic discussed.

On the chase…


One thought on “You Think You’re a Real Woman? Not Even…

  1. kristen says:

    As i laid here and read that it touched my spirit. I was once in a group at my church called proverbs 31 women and we all strived to be this woman that god has called us to be. Well now i can see why it was so hard for me personally to be this woman after reading this passage. Often times we live our life to please others and our flesh and we hurt our spirit. Then we think that our spirit will heal in due time and we move on, only to later find out we still aren’t happy or feel as if something is missing! Now that I’ve read this i’m ready to go back and pick up the missing pieces to my life and start over a new and be that proverbs 31 woman that my God has called me to be! Thanks so much for that inspiration. I can’t wait to share it with others. God bless you!

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