You Can’t Have That…Yet.

pre⋅ma⋅ture

 –adjective

1. Occurring, growing, or existing before the customary, correct, or assigned time; uncommonly or unexpectedly early: a premature end.
2. happening, arriving, existing, or performed before the proper, usual, or intended time.

Many times we get to a place in our life where we become frustrated with the things we do not have.

The Money.

And the Cars.

And the Clothes.
The…hoes. Sorry, I was having a Drake moment.   drake_rapper

But yes, there are things in our life that we want, desire after, need, and no matter how much progression we make, how ready we think we are to obtain those things, they are just out of our reach.

 Have you ever wondered why?

I’m smart, educated, cute, funny, pretty rational minded (depending on the day) and, as it still stands, very single. Every woman goes through this phase of “is it me? Why am I still single?” And we question who we are, the decisions we’ve made and we (as we go through a quarter life crisis around the age of 25) wonder if who we are and what we’ve accomplished is enough to attract a potential mate who does not live with his mama.

 We pray, attend women’s conferences, read books on “How to Find the Right One in 30 Days”, we speed date, blind date, double date; only to end the night, weeks, months, and years, happy, but still very single.

Or…

You work 50 hour weeks. You get awards and accolades at your job. Your boss’s boss loves you and you’re well-respected around your job. You have your sights set on that corner office, but after 4 years at the job, you are still driving your college whip (a ’91 Honda Civic), you live in an apartment, and while you have the education, experience, and know-how, you still aren’t living that life you imagined. You work hard, have great ideas, but have nothing to really “show” for it. You hope to one day be able to buy that house, car, take those trips with college buddies–you want that “next level” life you’ve always dreamt of.

Here’s the thing:

When we acquire things that we want prematurely, whether that be a meaningful relationship or a better paying job, we can end up in a very dangerous situation. Yes, we FINALLY have that wonderful man or woman we’ve been looking for, but if they came into your life too early, before you could truly resolve those issues (bag lady), can we really be equipped to love that person as they need to be loved? Or, if you get that new corner office out of season (before you knew that your mom would get sick and you’d have to take 2 months off to take care of her), wouldn’t you have rather not have the corner office (which also means greater responsibility…) until moms was better and back on her feet?

Consider this: A child that is born too early is called “premature”. While they are a blessing to their parents, and in many cases live to have happy and normal lives, their entry into the world is tumultuous, difficult, and even though their parents are glad to have them here, would have much rather to wait those few more months until that baby was ready to live on its own without the I.V.s, cords, 24-hour care, respirators, and incubators.

How much more then should we be patient to wait for those things we chase after until the ideal time?

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven… Ecclesiastes 3:1

He has made everything beautiful in its time… Ecclesiastes 3:11

I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever… Ecclesiastes 3:14

Take it in stride when what you want or even feel that you deserve in your life is slow to come. You can’t have it yet, but you will have it. In the right time.

So the next time you are reminded of how being single sucks or someone with more experience gets a promotion, just know that everything works in your favor in the right time.

… And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Romans 8:28

On the Chase,

Alisha L.

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5 thoughts on “You Can’t Have That…Yet.

  1. Shakelia says:

    Wow!! I had tears in my eyes reading this…Yes, sometimes I do feel like I am doing EVERYTHING(Above and Beyond) in my workplace but I don’t ever get recognized or appreciated. I will remember your phrase: “Take it in stride when what you want or even feel that you deserve in your life is slow to come. You can’t have it yet, but you will have it. In the right time”. I will go by this everyday so i can remind myself that EVERYTHING will work in my favor in the right time. Thanks cuz!!! Love ya……….

  2. Your Spelman Sister says:

    I will say this…

    A lot of my friends are single. And I am engaged. I tell all of them don’t see it as being lonely – see it as time to invest in yourself. People really place a lot of enphasis on having a relationship, and it may not be exactly what you really want. Especially when trying to accomplish certain things – your mate may or may not be as supportive as you need him to be. When in a relationship you have to sacrifice and give, even as your various endeavors dictate that you need to be totally focused. I’ve spent the last 4 years in dental school and in a relationship the past 3. If I knew then what I know now we would’ve simply maintained a friendship until after I finished school – because there were often problems when I needed to study or was exhausted from being in class and clinic all day, or when I needed to spend my evenings doing labwork to graduate on time. There were many arguments and all types of drama that I would’ve been better off without. This was definitely a case of the right person, wrong time. Having to deal with someone else’s emotions and everything is a lot to deal with, and you sound like you are doing so much, plus you have your baby to focus on. So, consider it a blessing and enjoy – like you said, it will happen in the right season.

  3. Connie Jones says:

    I cant put it into words how thankful I am for your blog post. I meant to read my bible before school, forgot, and randomly surfing the web in first period after spending mindless, precious minutes researching homemade pop tart recipes I came across your blog and read your verses; such an inspiration, thank you

    • Alisha L. Gordon says:

      Connie! God always deliver what you need right when you need it. Believe that. I’m glad you were able to find something on here to help you get through your day! Subscribe, I’m always posting new content. Just posted something tonight: dig in! http://wp.me/pBNws-2C

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