Last night, Twitter was all the buzz over Beyonce’s silent announcement that she was with child (yay!) Before you knew it, three Twitter accounts, all claiming to be the fetus of Bey-Z began tweeting out quirky little comments that kept The Twitter a buzz late into the night.
Back in the real world, however, Tweets and Facebook status began ringing of an old familiar battle cry amongst men and women.
Here’s a taste:
@ Tired of these guys tellin ladies”Ooooh look at bey.”
@ For the men talking abt the order of things, why don’t you marry a woman before you get her pregnant? goes both ways.
As a woman who did NOT do it in “order”, @DJBeans704, I found that the outcry from men (and women) everywhere that Beyonce + Jay’s example was to not only set a standard but serve as the constant reminder for all of us who chose to bring life into the world without a ring that there are some hostile, negative views towards single mothers.
I could dissertate the underlying issues of the “blame game”.
I could exegete the historical context of women + men relationships, how slavery played a part, the “Baby Boy” syndrome, and the diabolical break down of the Black family.
I won’t, though.
What I will do is put things in perspective. A God perspective.
Looking through His lens not only will clarify what His intent was for us in our relationships, but how those who have received the short end of the stick (no pun intended) can make the most of this baby frenzy by being reminded of God’s undying love for mothers.
If we followed God’s ideal plan, we wouldn’t even have to have these conversations. We would wait on Him to show us THE ONE, marry as virgins, have kids, and live lives that are virtually free of the pain that comes from choosing our own mates and creating babies with false hopes of future happiness with someone.
We know, in reality, it just doesn’t always work out that way.
But because God’s promises to us are always available to those who believe, we have the ability to jump right in and take advantage of the good life *cue Kanye* and we aren’t subject to the ridicule, judgement, and supercilious opinions of others.
God loves the Keisha + RayRay’s just as much as they Bey + Jay’s.
Whether you do it His way or the world’s way, God’s ability to bless a woman/man and the child they create doesn’t stop because mistakes were made.
Take Hagar for example. Hagar was the mistress of Abraham (you know, the father of many nations) and had a baby by him (she didn’t become a millionaire, though.) As to be expected, His wife Sarah didn’t like the fact that his baby mama was birthing babies, living all in the crib, so she told Abraham that he had to put her out. (Genesis 16:1-6)
Hagar took her son, Ishmael, packed up some food and water and hit the pavement with nowhere to go, no shelter, nothing.
Once she ran out of food and water, she left Ishmael under a shade bush and she prepared to say her last goodbyes as she knew certain death from starvation and dehydration was inevitable. (Genesis 21:15-21) She cried out to God for help. He heard her.
Not only did God intervene on her behalf and show her a place to find water, He gave Ishmael hunting skills far above any other kid in his region. He made a great man out of Hagar’s “mistake”.
What is the matter with you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him by the hand; for I will make a great nation of him” (Genesis 21:17-18).
It takes two to make a thing go right.
We are all free moral agents. God made us that way. We have the ability to choose to follow Him or not. The wonderful thing about grace and mercy is that we still have the ability to receive all of His promises for our life, even with a baby on our hip.
While much of the attention of yesterday’s tweets were focused on the plight of women, men have an equally important part to play in it all.
Proverbs 18:22 says Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.
Notice that the man finds a special, unmerited, DIFFERENT type of favor ONCE (after) he finds the wife.
You want to talk about the ORDER of things, gentlemen? Find your God-given purpose. Operate in it. Become successful in it. Seek God about who your wife should be. Be BRAVE enough to ask her to marry her. Be responsible enough to not have sex with her, create a baby with her, and help create the life God intended for her. It is THEN, my friends, you find a special kind of favor with God.
Since we want to talk about order and things…
Let’s not condemn the Keisha + RayRay’s of the world. Let’s celebrate life and God’s mercy on us all to get another chance to get it right. We can debate all day about how things are unfair and how people aren’t taking responsibilities for their actions.
But when you know better, you do better. We can change our perspective now we know what God’s intent and feelings are towards those of us who birth children into the world, married or not.
What you decide to do with this knowledge will make the difference.
Standing up for Keisha + RayRay but striving to do it right like Bey + Jay,