Purpose + Relationships: How Do They Fit?

Below is a revelation that God gave me about finding our purpose and marriage. The discussions about this topic has been tossed around by me and my friends for the latter half of 2011 and I think we got it! Hope this #ThatllPreach moment will help bring some clarity to your own understanding about purpose and how it plays a role before you say “I do!”

So, we’ve [my friends and I] discussed the correlations between purpose (finding and walking in) + marriage for some time now and really couldn’t put our finger on it. I think I’ve found the answer. (Well through Holy Ghost revelation)

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul discusses the rights and responsibilities of single and married people. In verses 32-35, Paul notes that people who are single should spend their time focusing on God, His plan, His ways, getting to know Him. Why? He notes that those who are married have to divide their time between God and their spouse, leaving less room to focus on God and His plan for our lives.

32-35I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.

I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions. (The Message Version)

As a single person, God gives us the chance to really get to know Him, get into His presence. We only have to focus on His plan for our lives and learn how to best execute it.

Once we marry, we are charged with the responsibility of caring for our spouse, helping them achieve their dreams.

That leads me to the next question we’ve discussed: why does it always seem like the woman knows and is walking in her purpose before her future husband (or seemingly before the guy who finds her finds his purpose?) (this isn’t every situation, but it happens.)

The answer is simple: women are a helpmeet to their husbands. Their primary goal is to help them achieve their goals, be their support. Going into the marriage, it is vitally important for a woman to know her purpose and why she was put here for one very important reason: so she doesn’t get lost.

Lost? Yes! Lost. Have you ever heard of a woman who has been married 10, 15, maybe 20 years who spent all of her married life supporting her husband’s dreams only to look  back and realize that there has been an empty void in her own life? She suddenly realizes that while in her quest to support her husband’s dreams, she’s forgotten her own and lost her identity as a person with purpose in God.

To ensure that this doesn’t happen, God allows women to learn who they are, get into their purpose and gain as sense of self prior to the marriage. He allows her to be established in what He has for her so when her focus has to shift to being a helpmeet, she’s not emotionally and mentally lost. Ideally, her helping her husband reach his goals will in turn help her continue with the ones she established prior to the relationship.

Look how meticulous God is about our lives! He knows that the woman will sacrifice herself even her dreams to help a man achieve his own and if she’s not already established in what she was put on this earth to do, she can lose a piece of herself in the process!

Hope this nugget of revelation helps you in your quest for purpose and love! There’s a method to HIS madness!

Scripture References: Genesis 2:18, 2:21-25, 1 Corinthians 7:32-36

On the Chase,

Alisha L.

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8 thoughts on “Purpose + Relationships: How Do They Fit?

  1. Essential says:

    Whan u r talking about Paul these are his opinions only. Paul was the same one talking about the women being at the back of the church and couldn’t speak and their husbands were to teach them when they got home Paul.

  2. Naomi says:

    Great article! That was a message, I believe, a lot of women needed to hear! Your honesty was moving & very perceptive…thank you for taking the time to break down a sometimes very perplexing circumstance.

  3. Alisha L. Gordon says:

    Reblogged this on Find The Pieces and commented:

    Since I’m attending the “I Need a Wife: Where are the REAL Women” forum tonight, I figured I’d repost this blog on Purpose and Relationships. Read. Share.

  4. Samantha says:

    I’ll be there as well. I’m definitely sending this to my friends to read before we head over. Good post!

  5. Daima Boger says:

    Great posting! My pastor preached on this some time ago and it put me at peace. Women should be more like Ruth, gleaning in the field while Boaz takes notice of her (Read the book of Ruth).
    I believe a woman matures in God faster is because we were built to be the heart of the family. We are quick to build our relationship with God which benefits greatly when we start families to share the love of God with the family. That is what makes us a helpmeet. We remind our spouses of the love of God. 🙂

  6. Samantha says:

    Awww! I wish I would have gotten in. We got there around 6:50/7 ish and the room was too full. We decided just to have dinner and engage in conversation with fellow diners. I’ll make sure that I’m extra early for the next one 🙂 BTW, loved your recap!

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