Tag: birthday

There’s Something to be Said

3 Comments

Today, at 7:44 AM, I turned 30 years old.

I recently discussed the significance and meaning behind the number 30, so there’s no need to go into that any further. Today, just for a moment, I’ll reflect back on the last decade of my life.

In the last ten years, I’ve been and become so many things. In retrospect, I feel like I was more bad than good. From age 20 until 26, my life was riddled with so much self-imposed mess. I contemplated suicide, loved men I had no business loving, gave my body away to people who were undeserving. I searched to fill age-old voids in people, places, and things that were toxic and hurtful and downright excessive. I served a short stint as someone’s mistress and an even shorter stint in jail.

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s the photo to prove it.  (When I’m famous, TMZ won’t have anything on me. You got it here first. I swear the people who take your picture in jail intentionally tussles your hair to make you look insane.)

Loving the wrong person (and not loving myself enough) got me in jail. It took me 9 months to beat those charges (they were eventually dropped), something I could have never done without my family and God. I’ll tell that entire story another day, though. (New York Times Best Sellers book, maybe?)

I remember being six months pregnant (I think I was 22 years old) and being chased out my apartment by a knife wielding lover. I was in my night gown. Neighbors heard the ruckus and called the cops. By the time they arrived, I was back in the apartment accepting profuse apologies. The cop never knocked on the door and I wasn’t brave enough to run out to him to be rescued. These were the moments of my twenties.

Most people would have never known these things happened unless they read the book I wrote in 2010, Pieces: Finding the Missing Piece is Easier than You Think. I was 27 years old. It was the first time in my life I felt okay with being freakishly transparent. I spent so many years hiding my flaws and idiosyncrasies that writing that book and being transparent was one of the most  liberating, freeing, and probably one of the most impactful things I’d done so far in my life.

And I became addicted to it.

I promised God that every time I had an opportunity to write, I’d let two things happen: say whatever He wanted to say and be brave enough to let my dirt show. Although I agreed to this, I asked, “Why do I have to be so transparent? Why do I have to let everyone know my ‘business’?” He gently replied, “The uncovering of “dirt” isn’t for you, it’s for them. People are looking, searching for transparency. I’ll give you the ability and courage to be it.”

As I got closer to ending my twenties, proverbial light bulbs began to go off; I started to actually walk the talk, dig into why I was put on this earth, and focus my energy into people, places, and things that were in line with that purpose. If you follow me on Twitter or if we’re friends on Facebook, you know what the last couple of years have looked like for me. God’s grace and favor has shown itself in ways unimaginable.

Now that I’m 30 years old, the year of “the right moment” and “dedication”, I’m thankful for every moment in my twenties, good and bad. I’m thankful for the growth, the hurt, the joys, the successes, and epic failures. I’m thankful for a patient family and a gracious God. Lord knows I don’t deserve either.

Today is the first day of the best decade of my life… so far.

Thank you for being apart of it, near or far, intentionally or by accident, by divine appointment or random occurrence.

Thank you.

On the Chase,

Alisha L.

The Right Moment

4 Comments

The number 30.

In our world, turning 30 years old holds so much weight. That number serves as the marker of success; we’ve been told all of our lives that there are certain things that should be in place before you turn 30. Owning a home, moving up in your career, getting married and having kids are just a few.

I, too, believed that I was supposed to reach this pinnacle of “success” by the time I turned 30. In reality, I’m nowhere close. I live at home with my mom, I’m technically unemployed, and I don’t even have a prospect for marriage , let alone have someone in the picture to take me on a date. I’m sky-high in student loan debt, and I’m becoming a college student all over again in just a couple of weeks.

My life looks nothing like I thought it would at 30.

But I am in the right moment.

You see,the number 30 is the number that denotes the perfection of divine order, the right moment, dedication. (source)

30 is the indicator that something is beginning when it should, taking its rightful place in the world, a new level of commitment to goals and aspirations.

Jesus was 30 years old when he entered His ministry. (Luke 3:23)

David was 30 years old when he became king of Israel (2 Samuel 5:4)

Joseph was 30 years old when he began ascending the ranks in Pharaoh’s house. (Genesis 41:46)

The years prior to age 30 served as moments where these individuals learned valuable lessons that propelled them into their divine moment. It was the years that came after age 30 that set them apart and created a long-lasting legacy in the earth.

Too much are we consumed with not having all that society says we should have by age 30. What I’ve come to realize is that the greatest opportunity for us to have all that we desire comes after the 30, not before.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about the pressures (socially or self-imposed) that we face as we turn 30. We both agreed that we want the money, homes, cars, career success, and happy love life, and more often than not, we want it sooner than we can really handle it.

The final conclusion was this: God wants us to have all of those aforementioned things, however, acquiring them takes a little longer than what we’d like. Why? Think of it this way: the longer a tree is planted in the ground, the longer its branches become and the deeper its roots grow. God’s process forces our roots to grow extremely deep before acquiring too much — this way, when the proverbial storms of life come, we aren’t toppled over by a little wind and rain. Society’s way of giving us the same desires doesn’t allow for our roots to grow very deeply. We’re like saplings in a hurricane, quickly snapped in two by the weight of our desires.

This revelation has taken the pressure off in many ways! You may look at your life and say, “I don’t have xyz yet… and it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen by age 30.” Trust me, it’s okay. This is just a time for your roots to grow deeper!

I’m looking forward to turning 30. I’m running towards it with arms outstretched because I know this is my right moment. I don’t find it coincidental that a week and a half after I turn 30 I’ll begin seminary at Emory University. I’m no Jesus, but turning 30 and entering ministry is quite a parallel. God is so funny.

Those who are reading this probably cover the entire spectrum: successful and happy before 30, still finding your way post 30, and many more. If things aren’t looking quite like you’d like them, it’s okay — let those roots grow deeper and branches expand a bit. You’re in the right moment. You’ll see.

On the Chase,

Alisha L.