Throughout this process, God has required me to be quiet, not spill all that I’m facing on public time lines and news feeds, but when he asks me to share something, I don’t think twice about doing it. Typically me sharing and being transparent has nothing to do with me (because I’m not ashamed of my shortcomings), but everything to do with you, the reader.  Continue reading

You Can’t Have That…Yet.



1. Occurring, growing, or existing before the customary, correct, or assigned time; uncommonly or unexpectedly early: a premature end.
2. happening, arriving, existing, or performed before the proper, usual, or intended time.

Many times we get to a place in our life where we become frustrated with the things we do not have.

The Money.

And the Cars.

And the Clothes.
The…hoes. Sorry, I was having a Drake moment.   drake_rapper

But yes, there are things in our life that we want, desire after, need, and no matter how much progression we make, how ready we think we are to obtain those things, they are just out of our reach.

 Have you ever wondered why?

I’m smart, educated, cute, funny, pretty rational minded (depending on the day) and, as it still stands, very single. Every woman goes through this phase of “is it me? Why am I still single?” And we question who we are, the decisions we’ve made and we (as we go through a quarter life crisis around the age of 25) wonder if who we are and what we’ve accomplished is enough to attract a potential mate who does not live with his mama.

 We pray, attend women’s conferences, read books on “How to Find the Right One in 30 Days”, we speed date, blind date, double date; only to end the night, weeks, months, and years, happy, but still very single.


You work 50 hour weeks. You get awards and accolades at your job. Your boss’s boss loves you and you’re well-respected around your job. You have your sights set on that corner office, but after 4 years at the job, you are still driving your college whip (a ’91 Honda Civic), you live in an apartment, and while you have the education, experience, and know-how, you still aren’t living that life you imagined. You work hard, have great ideas, but have nothing to really “show” for it. You hope to one day be able to buy that house, car, take those trips with college buddies–you want that “next level” life you’ve always dreamt of.

Here’s the thing:

When we acquire things that we want prematurely, whether that be a meaningful relationship or a better paying job, we can end up in a very dangerous situation. Yes, we FINALLY have that wonderful man or woman we’ve been looking for, but if they came into your life too early, before you could truly resolve those issues (bag lady), can we really be equipped to love that person as they need to be loved? Or, if you get that new corner office out of season (before you knew that your mom would get sick and you’d have to take 2 months off to take care of her), wouldn’t you have rather not have the corner office (which also means greater responsibility…) until moms was better and back on her feet?

Consider this: A child that is born too early is called “premature”. While they are a blessing to their parents, and in many cases live to have happy and normal lives, their entry into the world is tumultuous, difficult, and even though their parents are glad to have them here, would have much rather to wait those few more months until that baby was ready to live on its own without the I.V.s, cords, 24-hour care, respirators, and incubators.

How much more then should we be patient to wait for those things we chase after until the ideal time?

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven… Ecclesiastes 3:1

He has made everything beautiful in its time… Ecclesiastes 3:11

I know that whatever God does, it shall be forever… Ecclesiastes 3:14

Take it in stride when what you want or even feel that you deserve in your life is slow to come. You can’t have it yet, but you will have it. In the right time.

So the next time you are reminded of how being single sucks or someone with more experience gets a promotion, just know that everything works in your favor in the right time.

… And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Romans 8:28

On the Chase,

Alisha L.